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to a defendant's witness wearing a T-shirt reading "BEER EQUALS FUN": Mr. Gordon, that's a ridiculous shirt that you chose to wear to court today. ... I don't know what kind of statement you thought you were making, but if you wanted to leave the impression on this piece of tape that you're going to have on posterity for your children that you are an intelligent, thinking person, that shirt you're wearing belies that fact.

 

Judith Sheindlin

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"I think right about now I should answer some questions that are probably on your mind. You're probably thinking to yourself, 'Janeane, why are you not wearing the half-shirt that you're usually so fond of wearing? Because when we see you we like to see the half shirt.' You know I'm very fond of that and I'm fond of the low-slung jean and the thong, as you know. In fact when I go into a bar and I see ladies wearing the low-slung jeans and the half-shirts, I go up to them and say, 'On behalf of everyone here, thank you. Thank you!' 'Hey, pretty lady, are you wearing a thong? What a creative way to create favor with the opposite sex. That is so exciting. Let me understand the dynamic of the thong: so there's just a slender thread that just resides in your nether region for the better part of the day - just a string that rides in your anatomical hinterlands...it just hangs in there all day at work and then all day at the bar, so I can see how the gentlemen find that so exciting.'...Don't 'ooh' me, I'm not the one with the thong!"

 

Janeane Garofalo

 

Alessandro Del Piero: "Above all on the eve of a match like this one, when on the other side, wearing a captain band on his arm, there’s a player like Francesco Totti. If we put together our goals scored, it's over 500. If we sum up the years of career, wearing the same shirt – it comes up to 35. We won the World Cup together and those memories unite us forever" "We have a great relationship with plenty of admiration on both sides even if we don't call each other up. Francesco is great."

 

Francesco Totti

 

I had a shirt made up that says, "I consistently make poor life choices." The shirt was not very popular.

 

Joey Comeau

 

There was pride in the shirt. There was sweat in the shirt. There was blood in the shirt.

 

Phil Brown

 

On Matthew McConaughey: "He was always taking his shirt off, he's like "Yeah, here's my deal, I'm hot." We had a meeting one day at like 11 o'clock, right before the show and he walks into the meeting shirtless wearing this like old musty sarong... He doesn't smell great, no."

 

Tina Fey