There has been a great difficulty in getting anything into the heads of this generation. It has been like splitting hemlock knots with a corn-dodger for a wedge and a pumpkin for a beetle.
--
Discourses of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 146Joseph Smith
I bleed Dodger blue and when I die, I'm going to the big Dodger in the sky.
Tommy Lasorda
I don't believe pumpkin pie is even made from pumpkin. I mean, how can something that smells that shitty make a pie so sweet? There's not enough sugar in the universe.
Lewis Black
A beetle may or may not be inferior to a man — the matter awaits demonstration; but if he were inferior by ten thousand fathoms, the fact remains that there is probably a beetle view of things of which a man is entirely ignorant. If he wishes to conceive that point of view, he will scarcely reach it by persistently revelling in the fact that he is not a beetle.
Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Moderate Republicans are reverse Houdinis. They tie themselves up in knots and then tell you they can't do anything because they're tied up in knots.
Barney Frank
The price of corn will naturally rise with the difficulty of producing the last portions of it,...
David Ricardo
Smith, Joseph, Jr.
Smith, Kevin
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