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"It will be the strongest Champions League ever. Every shark will be there."

 

Jose Mourinho

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"If I wanted to have an easy job I would have stayed at Porto. Beautiful blue chair, the UEFA Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me."

 

Jose Mourinho

 

They'll drop a cage into the water, and the shark'll be. like, "What you doin' down 'ere? What you f**kin' doin' down 'ere?" And they'll get a bit of meat on a stick and go "Oy! Wanker! Bleurgh!" And they’ll go "Oh, is that for me?" [pretends to shove meat in shark’s mouth] "You f**kin’..."

 

Lee Evans

 

"I understand why he [Alex Ferguson] is a bit emotional. He has some top players in the world and they should be doing a lot better than that... You would be sad if your team gets as clearly dominated by opponents who have been built on 10% of the budget." [on beating Manchester United in the UEFA Champions League]

 

Jose Mourinho

 

This lady's suin' everybody in the whole friggin' county! She's like-- she's like, "My husband got his leg bit by a shark and no one jumped in and saved him!" No shit, lady! It's a friggin' shark! Get off your fat ass and save him! That's jus' like asking a retard to go out and beat up Jackie Chan! Well, the waterhead's gonna get his ass kicked! I tell ya, put that shark out in the parking lot of Walmart, I'll kick the shit outa him! I'll beat him silly all day long!

 

Larry the Cable Guy

 

Drawing a comparison to football, it could be said that the Spanish economy has, during this legislature, into the Champions League of the world economy, however bad that may seem to some."

 

Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero