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Jon Stewart

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I want the Jim Cramer on CNBC to protect me from that Jim Cramer.
--
Referring to the video from TheStreet.com of Jim Cramer discussing how to manipulate the market.

 
Jon Stewart

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Stewart: As is very clear from the tape that you have on the internet, there is the letter of the law and the intent of the law. And I think, clearly, that it would be a great service to the American public if there was an organization out there—not just the SEC, but a news organization that was trying to maintain the intent of this and force companies to still have growth and profit, but not in a way that burns down the entire field. Y'know, my mother is 75. And she bought into the idea that long-term investing was the way to go. And guess what?
Cramer: It didn't work.
Stewart: [nods] So maybe we could remove the "financial expert" and In Cramer We Trust and get back to the fundamentals in reporting, as well, and I can go back to making fart noises and funny faces.
Cramer: I think we make that deal right here. [Stewart and Cramer shake hands.]

 
Jon Stewart
 

Mr. Cramer, don't you destroy enough dough on your own show? Boom goes the dynamite! [Laughs.] How weird is our world when Jim Cramer's on TV baking pie and Martha Stewart is the one who went to jail for Securities fraud? That's weird.

 
Jon Stewart
 

I don't know about the markets. That's why I don't make the claim to any authority. That's why my network doesn't have the slogan "In Stewart We Trust." They don't want people to think I'm God. Now of course, I probably wouldn't have a problem if Cramer's slogan was Cramer: He's right sometimes or He's like a dartboard that talks or You feel lucky, punk? Well, do you?

 
Jon Stewart
 

Dora: Doesn't Jim Cramer understand that it's not about individual mistakes he's made, it's about him creating a false sense of urgency that helped hyperinflate the bubble!
Stewart: I mean, that was kinda the point.
Boots: Do you want me to throw feces on him?
Stewart: No, Boots. That's OK. [...]
Dora: And Joe Scarborough is accusing you of being a cherry-picking ideologue? [...] Why is everyone being such a pendejo? [...] It means jackass in Spanish. [...]
Stewart: Hooray for the pendejos!

 
Jon Stewart
 

"Police in China can do whatever they want; after 81 days in arbitrary detention you clearly realise that they don’t have to obey their own laws." ** Anderlini, Jamil. “China’s ‘Mozart’ Drops Off State Hit Parade.” CNBC.com, May 12, 2010. http://www.cnbc.com/id/37107939/

 
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