Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference.
--
Monologue, 19 February 2007 (U.S. Presidents Day)Jay Leno
Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference. (1987)
Mort Sahl
Look, if George W. Bush and his Republican cronies walked on water, I'd be the guy out there yelling that they couldn't swim. But don't take it from me: we've now heard it from the military commanders and our intelligence community: George Bush's actions in Iraq have not made us safer. They've done the opposite.
James Carville
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny. ... OK, well, if I say that, I might get a shock laugh, but it's not really satire.
Tom Lehrer
I couldn't sleep nights, George, if you were out of Washington.
George Marshall
Leno, Jay
Lenthall, William
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