"Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins...and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top."
--
self-titled TV comedy special, 1997Janeane Garofalo
» Janeane Garofalo - all quotes »
Usually, old ladies tell me to find Jesus. Look, I'm just trying to find some chai and a good vegan muffin.
Davey Havok
"Is the Fat Muffin Man there?" (from "Paradise")
Jerky Boys
We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" They're going "You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us!" "Do you have a flag …? "What? We don't need a flag, this is our home, you bastards" "No flag, No Country, You can't have one! Those are the rules... that I just made up!...and I'm backing it up with this gun, that was lent to me from the National Rifle Association."
Eddie Izzard
Well, I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One must eat muffins quite calmly, it is the only way to eat them.
Oscar Wilde
I saw this on CNN a few days ago. In New York these cops freaked out. They shot at this guy 15 times 'cause they thought he was holding a grenade. HE WAS EATING A PEAR!! How do you f**k that up?! Unless he was eating it like "AHHHHHH!" *throws pear* "THAT'S A DELICIOUS PEAR!!!"
Dane Cook
Garofalo, Janeane
Garr, Teri
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z