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In fact Nick Clarke was in the chair for that edition, as reported on the day's online schedule .

 

Eddie Mair

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Mrs. Prentice: Are you Geraldine Barclay?
Nick: Yes.
Mrs. Prentice: Where have you been?
Nick: I've been attending to the thousand and one duties that occupy the average secretary during her working hours.
Mrs Prentice: It doesn't take the whole morning to file your nails, surely?
Nick: I had to lie down. I was sick.
Mrs. Prentice: Are you pregnant?
Nick: I can't discuss my employer's business with you.

 

Joe Orton

 

Nick: I've also found someone to take an option on the photographs.
Mrs Prentice: What photographs?
Nick: I had a camera concealed in the room.
Mrs Prentice: When I gave myself to you the contract didn't include cinematic rights.
Nick: I'd like a hundred quid for the negatives. You've got until lunchtime.
Mrs Prentice: I shall complain to the manager.
Nick: It will do you no good. He took the photographs.
Mrs. Prentice: Oh, this is scandalous! I'm a married woman.
Nick: You didn't behave like a married woman last night.

 

Joe Orton

 

Online,
I’m out in Hollywood.
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good.
Even on a slow day,
I could have a three way,
Chat with two women at one time.
I’m so much cooler online;
Yeah, I’m cooler online.

 

Brad Paisley

 

...there is nothing like a 'private home' online, because we don't sleep there, and we don't need toilets or showers there. So a lot of the privacy issues in the real world -- like what the police can seize without a warrant, or whether you have to admit your identity when asked -- don't really play online. Online privacy is seldom about private property, but about access to information.

 

Stowe Boyd

 

The idea that I'm a homosexual thrill killer, that I stroll down the streets and stalk young boys and slaughter them... Hell, if you could see my schedule, my work schedule, you knew damn well that I was never out there.

 

John Wayne Gacy