It's a myth that men don't have their own version of PMT, of course they do - every woman knows this. It's a very simple experiment to conduct, all you've got to do is be with a man, wait until he starts doing something and then go up and talk to him. "WHAT?! What is it now?! I'm opening fish fingers can't you see?! You come in here, walking on the floor - breathing the air like it's yours - talking and talking and I'm doing something! Look they've fallen on the floor, are you happy?! Are you happy now?! Every time I try and do something for myself, you carbonize and then shit on my dreams... You're just like your whole family! Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?!"
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On male "periods"Dylan Moran
(talking about how girls like mystery) Next time your lady leaves the room, take a dump on the floor! 'Cuz there is nothing more mysterious than a dump on the floor! And it always starts a conversation, am I right? Honey, what happened? You better hold me 'cause I'm afraid.
Dave Attell
My hotel doesn't have a 13th Floor because of superstition, but c'mon man...people on the 14th Floor, you know what Floor you're really on. "What room are you in?" "14.01". "No, you're not. Jump out of window, you'll die earlier!".
Mitch Hedberg
What I am really here to talk about is the central thing, the core, the nucleus—life itself. I’m not here to talk about what we should do in life. There are many options as far that is concerned and, of course, you can pick one, whatever suits you. But I’m talking about life itself without which nothing is wrong and nothing is right. Unbiased life. Maybe one day everything is going the right way for you and you’re incredibly happy. And you’re still breathing and you’re still alive. Then one day you’re really sad, and everything is terrible. And you’re still breathing; you’re still alive. That thing is never affected by what the outer circumstances are.
Maharaji (Prem Rawat)
The first time my brothers saw me, when I was a day or two old and still in the hospital, my brother Mark could not pronounce the name "Kimberley," and I was an especially happy baby, so he decided it would be easier to call me "Happy." From that moment on, my family members never used the name Kimberley. I was forced, however, to use my given name while attending school. As soon as I turned sixteen, my name was legally changed to Happy Tyler Rhodes. As far as I'm concerned, it's the ony name I've ever had. When people ask me if it's my real name, I always say "yes."
Happy Rhodes
Moran, Dylan
Moravia, Alberto
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