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The explosion was now officially designated an "Act of God."
But, thought Dirk, what god? And why?
What god would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the 15:37 flight to Oslo?
--
Ch.6, p.77

 

Douglas Adams

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Just go to an airport, stand in front of a person who is waiting for their flight, and stare at them until they notice you are there. When they look at you, just say "Don't get on the flight" and walk away. You know they're sitting there going "I don’t think I should get on this f**king flight.. I think an angel just told me not to get on this flight.. Thank you angel wearing jeans!"

 

Dane Cook

 

"So I'm sittin' in Nashville Tennessee, it's a Wednesday night - and I'm wrestling on pay per view. maybe you've heard of it, "NWA:TNA." Around Thursday at 5:59 at night I fly to Chicago. From Chicago I fly to Heathrow, from Heathrow I fly to Germany. This is the absolute WORST trip of my entire life... and I travel a LOT. See I've been all over the world. I've been to Puerto Rico, I've been to Japan, I've been to Mexico, I've wrestled in South Africa, I've wrestled in Asia. I've wrestled from the tip of Antarctica down to Antar- I've been everywhere. My plane comin' into Chicago is late. I gotta' hustle halfway across O'Hare Airport. I've got people *laughin'* at me, because a seventy-year-old man who's on the same flight as me made it to the flight to Heathrow first. So I get to Heathrow, and the lady at the BMI counter tells me to stand in line at the Luftstansa counter because that's who handles the German flights. Well I stood in line for FORTY-FIVE MINUTES and had to listen to all these little Irish pipsqueaks complain that something's wrong with *their* passports. And when I *FINALLY* get out there, I *FINALLY* get to the counter, my plane's leaving in nine minutes and they tell me I can't get on it. You know what I did? You know what I did because of who I am, CM Punk? Because I'm drug free and alcohol free? I *took* my bags, I even picked up a little old lady who needed the lift... and I RAN to my gate, and I GOT there in time, and they PUT me on that plane -- 'cause I am a LEGEND, I am a superstar. And I get to Germany. I get here and I have to put up with the SAME crap that I have to put up with in America. "Chris Hero." Chris Hero, you beat me ONE TIME, and I had a hundred and fourteen degree temperature and the GOUT. This is no laughing matter. Germany, you made a name for yourself... this is your home. This is the first time I'm here. And what's CM Punk known for doin? BEATING THE ODDS. Today, sixty-minute Iron Man Match... I'm gonna' pin you sixty seven times and it STILL won't matter. No matter how many times you pin me, if i let you, I am STILL better than you. Because *I AM* drug free, *I AM* alcohol free, and I'm straightedge. And I'm better than you."

 

Phil Brooks

 

The thing that f**ks up bands a lot is when everybody wants to do everything. We were never like "You’re designated this position and you’re designated that." We’ve designated ourselves certain general positions, like I write a tiny bit, but my best thing is getting out there and putting on the best live show possible. That’s been my number one goal personally.

 

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The whole of this studio is bonded; that is to say, we are not officially in Japan per se, but rather, in what is considered for these purposes an adjunct of the customs shed at Narita airport. Officially, we are not here because we are pornographic. It's a rather curious situation.

 

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I was at the airport a while back and some guy said, "Hey man, I saw you on TV last night." But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good, he was just confirming that he saw me on television. So I turned my head away for about a minute, and looked back at him and said, "Dude! I saw you at the airport...about a minute ago... and you were good."

 

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