With all the horrible, horrible shit that your priest is pumping into your kid's head, his dick should be the least of your worries, honestly. That's just a little mouthwash and a few years of therapy'll get rid of that. That Jesus shit will torture you for a lifetime.
Doug Stanhope
» Doug Stanhope - all quotes »
There's so much bullshit around now in pop and hip-hop, and everybody's talking about the same f**king shit, like get the f**k outta here. That shit is horrible. I don't hate anybody, but that shit pisses me off. It's bullshit. So I wanna change things up and make people go, "Aw, man, this is the hot shit. Eamon talks from the heart. He's real."
Eamon (singer)
My mum went and married a really horrible horrible man, who drove a taxi at night and had a sticky-fingered son and he smoked cigars in the toilet. Smelled terrible! Again, there's no therapy, there's no counseling over the whole situation! Just married the maniac. And there was a new person in her bed now, and I couldn't do my nightly performance anymore. I was nine years old and my show had been canceled!
Tracey Ullman
The secret of happiness is to face the fact that the world is horrible, horrible, horrible.
Bertrand Russell
The only time I'll wear depend is when I'm 70 years old. That's when I can't hold my shit within so I shit on myself, 'cuz I'm so sick and tired of shittin' on everybody else.
Lil Wayne
Stanhope, Doug
Stanhope, Philip
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