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I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.

 

Dave Attell

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We know that more than 70 to 80% of women masturbate, and 90% of men masturbate, and the rest lie.

 

Joycelyn Elders

 

Girls love their showers, they spend like twelve hours in there. I know why too, I read in Cosmo. It said that, "Eighty three percent of all women masturbate in the shower." That's wonderful. I can't masturbate in the shower cause my legs give out and then I rip down the shower curtain. And then my Mom gets mad. And I have to go to bed without dinner. I masturbated in the car once. That's a cry for help. I wouldn't do it again, though, 'cause the cab driver got really pissed off. I was like, "I'm sorry sir, all I saw was the non-smoking sign."

 

Mitch Fatel

 

And I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if hes anything like me.
He'll probably climb a tree to tall and ride hes bike to fast;
End up every summer wearin something in a cast.
He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street.
He's gonna get in trouble, oh he's gonna get in fights.
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep.
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me.

 

Brad Paisley

 

With no words, with no song
You can dance the dream with your body on
And this curve, is your smile
And this cross, is your heart
And this line, is your path
Oh it's gonna be the way you always thought it would be
But it's gonna be no illusion
Oh it's gonna be the way you always dreamt about it
But it's gonna be really happening to ya...

 

Kate Bush

 

I’m gonna rock you baby to sleep
I’m gonna make you crazy over me
I’m gonna hold you like you’ve never been held before
And love you till you tell me you can’t love anymore
I’m gonna shake your emotion right down to your soul
And then I’m gonna love you all over in and out of control
If this is how love is supposed to feel
Baby I know I’ve fallen head over heels
I’m gonna rock you baby.

 

Toby Keith