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The sun comes up and so does your dick. Cause at heart your dick’s a farmer!

 

Dave Attell

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[Rock Hudson] was on his deathbed, going, "It was that last f**king dick... god DAMN it, why did I suck it, WHY DID I SUCK IT!?!? I was ahead of the game, Mister! Million of dicks, never had a problem before--dick, dick, dick, suck, suck, suck; dick, dick, dick, suck, suck, suck. Never had a problem--IT WAS THAT LAST GODDAMN DICK!!!"

 

Sam Kinison

 

This presidential race is the biggest dick contest in history. "Your dick is indecisive!" "Your dick started an unnecessary war!" "Your dick didn't get injured enough in Vietnam!" "Your dick didn't even go to Vietnam!" "Your dick is soft on terrorism!" "Your dick started terrorism!" "Your dick blamed Vietnam vets for atrocities that made all vets unable to come home to a hero's welcome." "Your dick forged its way out of military service!" Has this kind of dick-waggling happened before outside of a pro-wrestling context?

 

Margaret Cho

 

Dave Barry:: Are you really Dick Armey?
Dick Armey:: Yes, I am Dick Armey. And if there is a dick army, Barney Frank would want to join up.

 

Dick Armey

 

I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f**kin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

 

John Mayer