Yquotes.com

 

Perry [Como] gave his usual impersonation of a man who has simultaneously been told to say 'Cheese' and shot in the back with a poisoned arrow.
--
'Olde Rubbishe'

 

Clive James

» Clive James - all quotes »

Similar quotes

 

One of my first memories was of Martin Luther King being shot. I was five and if you wonder if this feeling will pass... [choked up]... When I was five and he was shot, here's what I remember about it: I was in school in Trenton and they turned the lights off and we got to sit under our desks... and we thought that was really cool. And they gave us cottage cheese, which was a cold lunch because there were riots, but we didn’t know that. We just thought, "My God! We get to sit under our desks and eat cottage cheese!" And that’s what I remember about it. And that was a tremendous test of this country's fabric and this country has had many tests before that and after that.

 

Jon Stewart

 

I wanted my illustrations for the Dante to be like the faint markings of moisture in a divine cheese. This explains their variegated aspect of butterflies' wings. Mysticism is cheese; Christ is cheese, better still, mountains of cheese!

 

Dante Alighieri

 

Como Chesterton, como Lang, como Boswell, Wilde es de aquellos venturosos que pueden prescindir de la aprobación de la crítica y aun, a veces, de la aprobación del lector, pues el agrado que nos proporciona su trato es irresistible y constante.

 

Oscar Wilde

 

Let’s say, for instance, I’m out of cheese. And then I’ll think, oh, but what if I go to the store and they’re out of cheese? I’d be like, “How can you be out of cheese?” “What do you mean ‘How can we be out of cheese?’ You’re out of cheese. People run out of cheese.” Then I’d be like, “Yeah, but you’re a store. You should have cheese stocked up in the back for people like me coming in looking for cheese.” And that’s when they send the manager over, who thinks he’s so cool for being the manager ‘cause his picture’s framed in the front of the store ‘cause he’s the manager, you know. And he’d be like, "What seems to be the problem, ma'am?" Which to me is so condescending, like “little lady.” I’d be like, “The little lady’s problem.…” He’d be like, “Who’s the little lady?” I’d be like, “Shut up and listen to me. You’re out of cheese and I want some.” And, he’s like, “Well, how about some cottage cheese?' Like he’s going to negotiate the situation, he’s a diplomat because he’s the manager. And I’d be like, “I don’t want cottage cheese; I want cheddar cheese. Sharp cheddar cheese is what I came in for. Sharp cheddar cheese and cottage cheese are not the same things. Just ‘cause they have the name cheese in the title doesn't make it a cheese at all. That’d be like going into a musical instrument store and saying ‘I’d like to buy a trumpet,’ and them saying 'I’m sorry, we're all out of trumpets, but would you like a shoehorn?’ See, that’s not the same thing, is it, Mr. Manager?” (‘Thank you for the shoe horn,’ you know.) And he starts getting all nervous and everything, because a crowd has formed and he starts feeling humiliated because they’re all sitting around mumbling “What seems to be the problem?,' I don’t know, she wants some cheese.' And, so, um, he just slaps me right across the face. And, umm, so that’s when Skip, the part time guy who works there, who hates the manager ‘cause he thinks so cool for being the manager and treats Skip like shit because he’s just the part time guy. And Skip’s going to quit in the fall and go back to school anyway. He doesn’t even need the money; he’s from a wealthy family. He’s just doing it for the experience because his family wants him to work one summer. And, so anyway, so, he takes the hose, and he goes to spray the manager right in the eye, right, and so, but that’s when he’s leaning down to pick the cottage cheese, so he misses him and he gets this old woman who’s standing right behind him, and she’s there picking out an avocado, because the older you are the less you eat and she all she wants is the avocado. So she screams out, “my eye, I’ve been sprayed in the eye with a produce hose.” And so then that’s when her nephew who's visiting from Austin Texas is two aisles over buying tortilla chips because he thinks they're going to have guacamole. Little does he know it's one avocado. And so, he starts running “I’ll help you, aunt so and so,” running, and then when he’s running down the aisle when he slips on some water from the produce hose, breaks his leg, breaks his arm, bruises two ribs right there… gets a stitch put in his cheekbone, just one, but still, it’s a stitch. Chaos breaks out and it’s all over Hard Copy and Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood… "Lesbian Demands Cheese, Causes Riot." And I’m like, “I didn’t even want the cheese.” You know?

 

Ellen DeGeneres

 

When you practice archery, if your mind is occupied with shooting the arrow, the shot will be disturbed, and will not be settled (smooth). If you are wielding the long sword, and your mind is fixed on wielding the sword, the sword will not move smoothly. The archer should forget about shooting the arrow, and shoot as he would doing nothing special. Then the shot will be smooth. When wielding the long sword, or riding a horse, do it as though you would not wield a sword or ride a horse. Stop doing everything, have an empty, everydays mind, even when you have lots of things to do, do it easily, smoothly. The man who has nothing on his heart is the man of the Way.

 

Yagyu Munenori