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I'll stop calling it the iPhone right now. Instead, for the remainder of this article, it'll be known as the Jabscreen. A better name in any case.

 

Charlie Brooker

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Thoughtfully, just as Jabscreen owners everywhere were running out of apps to compare – and, by extension, anything to talk about – the nice droids at Apple Castle gifted them a whole new branch of conversation: the launch of the Jabscreen 4, which apparently is miles better than a regular Jabscreen, although no one can really explain why. Its most impressive feature is this: simply by existing, it suddenly makes your existing Olde Worlde vanilla Jabscreen seem rubbish. How can you enjoy sliding the little icons around on your Jabscreen 3 when you know that if you had a Jabscreen 4, those very same icons would be slightly sharper? The answer is you can't.

 

Charlie Brooker

 

Even if the Jabscreen 4 was reportedly biting users' ears off and spitting them into a ditch, every Jabscreen 3 user is going to wind up buying one anyway.

 

Charlie Brooker

 

I am going to stop calling you a white man and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man.

 

Morgan Freeman

 

In 2005, Byrne complained about his Wikipedia article, claiming it was full of “opinion, rumor and borderline libel” but did not specify what he objected to within the article. He attempted to “delete lies and troll-fodder” by removing most of the article, but it was soon restored. The article was revised following a complaint from Byrne to Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales.

 

John Byrne

 

In less than three years after this memorable day, on the 2nd of December, 1851, at daybreak, there might be read on all the street corners in Paris, this placard:—
"In the name of the French people, the President of the Republic:
"Decrees —
"Article 1. The National Assembly is dissolved.
"Article 2. Universal suffrage is re-established. The law of the 31st of May is repealed.
"Article 3. The French people are convoked in their comitia.
"Article 4. A state of siege is decreed throughout the first military division.
"Article 5. The Council of State is dissolved.
"Article 6. The Minister of the Interior is charged with the execution of this decree.
"Done at the Palace of the Élysée, December 2, 1851.

 

Napoleon III