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And I said we have it on very good authority that they're from Felt...I said, "Dammit... you ought to give him a lie detector test."
--
Nixon's explanation to Haig of his earlier discussion with FBI Director Gray (May 12, 1973)
--
Nixon was referring to leaks about the Pentagon Papers to Time Magazine

 

W. Mark Felt

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I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was "HH", so I went to the side, I found the "H" button, I pushed it twice. F**kin'...potato chips came out, man, because they had an "HH" button for Christ's sake! You need to let me know. I'm not familiar with the concept of "HH". I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's. God god, dammit dammit.

 

Mitch Hedberg

 

And because of my father, between the ages 7 through 15, I thought my name was "Jesus Christ." He'd say, "JESUS CHRIST!" And my brother, Russell, thought his name was "Dammit." "'Dammit, will you stop all that noise?! And Jesus Christ, SIT DOWN!" So one day I'm out playing in the rain. My father said "Dammit, will you get in here?!" I said, "Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!"

 

Bill Cosby

 

"I'm giving this to Eeyore," he explained, "as a present. What are you going to give?"
"Couldn't I give it too?" said Piglet. "From both of us?"
"No," said Pooh. "That would not be a good plan."

 

A. A. Milne

 

The New York Times is cheering the decision of Mount Holyoke College to stop requiring that students submit their SAT scores for admission, ending what the Times calls "the tyranny of the big test." While conceding that the SAT measures "mental dexterity," the editorial complains that the test does not capture qualities such as "motivation" or what the student "learned in high school."
The SAT also doesn't measure compassion, speed or good looks. It does, however, measure something more than the ability to suck up to your high school teachers and guidance counselors.

 

Ann Coulter

 

Is it possible for the rose to say, "I will give my fragrance to the good people who smell me, but I will withhold it from the bad?" Or is it possible for the lamp to say, "I will give my light to the good people in this room, but I will withhold it from the evil people"? Or can a tree say, "I'll give my shade to the good people who rest under me, but I will withhold it from the bad"? These are images of what love is about.

 

Anthony de Mello