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"Carlson occupies the same role for conservatives in the media landscape that Colmes does for liberals. Colmes is a pale-faced, paint-by-numbers loser whose only job is to be a believable liberal for people who live in trailers. Carlson is CNN's idea of a conservative. His right-wing ideas come from his changeable, expensive brains instead of his stomach. In the same way that the helpless, ineffectual Colmes is a reassuring image to hardcore conservatives, Carlson puts a soothing face on conservatism for educated East Coast progressives – because even the biggest neo-Marxist wanker from Brown takes one look at Carlson and sees the one man in America he would feel sure of being able to kick the shit out of in a back alley."

 

Tucker Carlson

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Carlson: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?
Stewart: Absolutely.
Carlson: You've got to be kidding me. He comes on and you—
Stewart: You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?

 

Jon Stewart

 

Stewart: You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.
Carlson: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.
Stewart: You need to go to one. [...]
Carlson: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.
Stewart: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

 

Jon Stewart

 

Stewart: [To Tucker Carlson] How old are you?
Carlson: Thirty-five.
Stewart: And you wear a bow tie... So this is theater... Now, listen, I'm not suggesting that you're not a smart guy, because those are not easy to tie... But the thing is that this—you're doing theater, when you should be doing debate, which would be great... It's not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery.

 

Jon Stewart

 

Meet Ann Coulter. In her opinion, "liberals are racists", the French are "a bunch of faggots", only property owners should be allowed to vote, and anyone who disagrees with her is a "fatuous idiot" or "evil". In liberal Europe, such propositions are seldom aired, even in the most right-wing salons. In America, however, Coulter — blonde, fortysomething — is a regular guest commentator on news and talk shows such as Good Morning America, Hannity and Colmes, At Large with Geraldo Rivera and The O'Reilly Factor.

 

Ann Coulter

 

Jon Stewart: And I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being bad.
Paul Begala: We have noticed.
Stewart: And I wanted to — I felt that that wasn't fair and I should come here and tell you that I don't — it's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America.
Tucker Carlson: But in its defense —
Stewart: But I wanted to come here today and say — Here's just what I wanted to tell you guys:
Carlson: Yes.
Stewart: Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America.

 

Jon Stewart