My mum went and married a really horrible horrible man, who drove a taxi at night and had a sticky-fingered son and he smoked cigars in the toilet. Smelled terrible! Again, there's no therapy, there's no counseling over the whole situation! Just married the maniac. And there was a new person in her bed now, and I couldn't do my nightly performance anymore. I was nine years old and my show had been canceled!
Tracey Ullman
» Tracey Ullman - all quotes »
I've been married eight and a half years. I like being married, too. I like being married for two reasons. One, I got really tired to dating, and two, I got really tired of exercising. I don't understand these couples who get married and continue to exercise and eat healthily. I mean, what's the point of getting married if you can't let yourself go? It's not as if you have to be attractive anymore; the race is over, take off the uniform.
Jeff Stilson
With all the horrible, horrible shit that your priest is pumping into your kid's head, his dick should be the least of your worries, honestly. That's just a little mouthwash and a few years of therapy'll get rid of that. That Jesus shit will torture you for a lifetime.
Doug Stanhope
The secret of happiness is to face the fact that the world is horrible, horrible, horrible.
Bertrand Russell
But do you mean to tell me that the man who in the full flush of youthful vigour, a young man of four and twenty, married a woman much his senior, and remained faithful to her for six and twenty years, at fifty years of age when the passions are dying married for lust and sexual passion? Not thus are men's lives to be judged. And you look at the women whom he married, you will find that by every one of them an alliance was made for his people, or something was gained for his followers, or the woman was in sore need of protection.
Holy Prophet Muhammad
Ullman, Tracey
Ulrich, Lars
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