Donny Tourette: This is what I think of you. (fondles crotch)
Simon Amstell: Really? You think of me, a small penis? Well I never.
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Never Mind The Buzzcocks Series 20, episode 2
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(Donny Tourette lights a cigarette)
--
Simon Amstell Hang on a minute! Donny is smoking now! What will he do next? A cigarette! That you can LEGALLY buy in shops! I'll try to carry on but I'm shocked and appalled!
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Noel Fielding: She would crush you like a twiglet (to Simon)Simon Amstell
» Simon Amstell - all quotes »
Simon Amstell: So Penny, you used to do a fashion column for the Daily Mail, didn't you?
Penny Smith: Yes I've done many strange things in my time.
Simon Amstell: So what does one wear to a lynching?Simon Amstell
Simon Amstell: She would. Or kill me and make it look like suicide
Simon Amstell
See, if I come into a black neighborhood and say, "Thanks for watching my show," and give out high fives and all that, I'm not doing no good. I go out and see a kid grabbing his crotch. Ain't nobody telling them that. Where do they get it from? They watch MTV. I say, "If you wash up more often, you won't have to grab your crotch." I'm telling these guys, "Why you gotta grab your crotch?" Then you see Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch 50 times. What's with him?
Mr. T
Penny Smith: Spitting... it would never happen on GMTV.
Simon Amstell: Nothing happens on GMTV.Simon Amstell
"But Celldweller is definitely more, there's more to us than just small penis..... There's more to the band than small penis.... Big hair.... Skirts...."
Klayton
Amstell, Simon
Amundsen, Roald
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