W. C. Fields (1880 – 1946)
Born William Claude Dukenfield, was an American Actor and Comedian.
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Whilst traveling through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Had to live on food and water for several days.
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.
If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two.
Some contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch...
"And it ain't a fit night out for man nor beast."
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm so indebted to her for.
"She's all dressed up like a well-kept grave."
Never give a sucker an even break.
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