Tucker Carlson
Bow-tied host of The Situation with Tucker Carlson, political pundit favoring conservative and libertarian views.
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I mean, look, no matter how you feel about Bush, watching him speak is difficult. It's like— it's like watching a drunk man cross an icy street.
Grover Norquist is a mean-spirited, humorless, dishonest little creep… an embarrassing anomaly, the leering, drunken uncle everyone else wishes would stay home… [He] is repulsive, granted, but there aren't nearly enough of him to start a purge trial."
"I think it’s a total nightmare and disaster, and I’m ashamed that I went against my own instincts in supporting it (the U.S. war in Iraq). It’s something I’ll never do again. Never. I got convinced by a friend of mine who’s smarter than I am, and I shouldn’t have done that. No. I want things to work out, but I’m enraged by it, actually."
It's almost impossible to make the case that Bush is a conservative. That may be good; that may be bad.
Maybe in fact it was better to have Saddam in there. Maybe Saddam, as bad as he was-was not the worst we could get. Maybe chaos was the worst we could get. That's the truth.
Don't take a leak on my shoes and tell me it's raining.
The Republican Party of 2005 bears no resemblance to the Republican Party of 1994.
"He is a patsy and a fraud – the kind of public personality totalitarian regimes used to nurture for years in order to execute for a lack of orthodoxy at some opportune historical moment much later on."
I think [Pat] Buchanan is far too easily and glibly dismissed.
"He has never been believable as a hatemongering brownshirt; his political ethnicity is probably closer to traitor than demagogue. You'd know exactly which side of the desert island to search for Carlson, if he were ever to be stranded on one with the Barnard French faculty and the Tuscaloosa chapter of the Klan – he'd be on the left bank, passionately misquoting Baudelaire."
"Carlson occupies the same role for conservatives in the media landscape that Colmes does for liberals. Colmes is a pale-faced, paint-by-numbers loser whose only job is to be a believable liberal for people who live in trailers. Carlson is CNN's idea of a conservative. His right-wing ideas come from his changeable, expensive brains instead of his stomach. In the same way that the helpless, ineffectual Colmes is a reassuring image to hardcore conservatives, Carlson puts a soothing face on conservatism for educated East Coast progressives – because even the biggest neo-Marxist wanker from Brown takes one look at Carlson and sees the one man in America he would feel sure of being able to kick the shit out of in a back alley."
I think Michael Moore is loathsome, though, not because he dislikes Bush, but because he seems to dislike America.
STEWART: No, this [CrossFire], it's theater. Like, take this for example. How old are you?
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