Tina Fey
Comedian best known for being the first ever female head-writer on Saturday Night Live as well as anchoring Weekend Update.
Ashlee Simpson did a special performance at Mall of America this week. Reports from those present say that the venue was completely packed; I mean seriously, people were like sardines, wall to wall, there had to be like ten of them...all pushed up against the giant stage they constructed...in the janitor's closet. Because she sucks.
On 30 Rock and Studio 60 and the Sunset Strip airing in the same year: "We’ll probably end up doing a terrible crossover, where the Matthew Perry character on the drama rapes my character on the comedy—and then the ‘Law & Order’ team solves the crime."
NBC announced this week that they will be producing a 3 hour TV movie based on the life of Rudolph Giuliani. To keep the movie real to life, the Giuliani character is really unlikeable until the last 15 minutes, when everyone loves him.
Two days before Britney Spears' HBO concert from Las Vegas, someone broke into her dressing room and stole the white, Elvis-inspired jumpsuit that she wore to promote the event. And you know what, I'm not giving it back! I keep it now, it's mine!
"They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin, and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy."
In Washington last week, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of 200 high school students. There were no survivors.
Bill Clinton's brother Roger was arrested this week for drunk driving in California and then was thrown out of a restaurant after threatening the doorman. Despite all this, Roger Clinton is still the least embarrassing member of his family.
It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.
In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
"So, Alec Baldwin; great actor or greatest actor?" I'm gonna say "greatest actor"; Greatest...living...American...actor...in...the Baldwin family...by a mile.
It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.'
FOX is developing a new reality dating series called Playing it Straight, in which a female contestant will date 14 bachelors, some of whom are gay, and some are straight. The show was originally called The Tina Fey College Experience.
Former pop singer Tiffany posed as the centerspread model for this month's issue of Playboy magazine. Tiffany, a devout Baptist, sat down with her young daughter and showed her a Cosmopolitan magazine saying "See honey? Mommy isn't nearly as classy as these ladies".
This is, uh, from "RedSoxGirl02," um, so that person is four years old, I guess, 'cause their thing is "02."
In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea."
(Typical signoff) Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
On Matthew McConaughey: "He was always taking his shirt off, he's like "Yeah, here's my deal, I'm hot." We had a meeting one day at like 11 o'clock, right before the show and he walks into the meeting shirtless wearing this like old musty sarong... He doesn't smell great, no."
Despite the fact that Martha Stewart has disgraced herself too much to hold an official position at Omnimedia, the company may still use her name and images to sell their products. You know, sort of like Clinton and the Democrats.
If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show...called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.