Thomas Hood (1799 – 1845)
English humorist and poet.
Oh, Men, with Sisters dear!
Oh, Men, with Mothers and Wives!
It is not linen you're wearing out,
But human creatures' lives!
'Twas in the prime of summer-time
An evening calm and cool,
And four-and-twenty happy boys
Came bounding out of school:
There were some that ran and some that leapt,
Like troutlets in a pool.
Straight down the Crooked Lane,
And all round the Square.
A wife who preaches in her gown,
And lectures in her night-dress.
And there is ev'n a happiness
That makes the heart afraid!
'Tis strange how like a very dunce,
Man, with his bumps upon his sconce,
Has lived so long, and yet no knowledge he
Has had, till lately, of Phrenology—
A science that by simple dint of
Head-combing he should find a hint of,
When scratching o'er those little pole-hills
The faculties throw up like mole hills.
My tears must stop, for every drop
Hinders needle and thread.
We watched her breathing through the night,
Her breathing soft and low,
As in her breast the wave of life
Kept heaving to and fro.
I saw old Autumn in the misty morn
Stand shadowless like Silence, listening
To silence.
She stood breast-high amid the corn
Clasped by the golden light of morn,
Like the sweetheart of the sun,
Who many a glowing kiss had won.
Seem'd washing his hands with invisible soap
In imperceptible water.
He lies like a hedgehog rolled up the wrong way,
Tormenting himself with his prickles.
Another tumble! That's his precious nose!
Sewing at once a double thread,
A shroud as well as a shirt.
Thus she stood amid the stooks,
Praising God with sweetest looks.
Never go to France
Unless you know the lingo,
If you do, like me,
You will repent, by jingo.
Our very hopes belied our fears,
Our fears our hopes belied;
We thought her dying when she slept,
And sleeping when she died.
There's not a string attuned to mirth
But has its chord in melancholy.
Alas! for the rarity
Of Christian charity
Under the sun!
Work! work! work!
While the cock is crowing aloof!
And work—work—work,
Till the stars shine through the roof!