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P. G. Wodehouse (1881 – 1975)


English comic writer who enjoyed enormous popular success during a career that lasted more than seventy years.
P. G. Wodehouse
It was a harsh, rasping voice, in its timbre not unlike a sawmill.
Wodehouse quotes
I started back to the house, and in the drive I met Jeeves. He was at the wheel of Stiffy's car. Beside him, looking like a Scotch elder rebuking sin, was the dog Bartholomew.
Wodehouse
"She loves this newt-nuzzling blister."




Wodehouse P. G. quotes
"Jeeves," I said, and I am free to admit that in my emotion I bleated like a lamb drawing itself to the attention of the parent sheep, "what the dickens is all this?"
Wodehouse P. G.
...his head emerged cautiously, like that of a snail taking a look around after a thunderstorm.
P. G. Wodehouse quotes
He committed mayhem upon his person. He did everything to him that a man can do who is hampered with boxing gloves.
P. G. Wodehouse
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
Wodehouse P. G. quotes
While they were content to peck cautiously at the ball, he never spared himself in his efforts to do it a violent injury.
Wodehouse
He uttered a coarse expression which I wouldn't have thought he would have known. It just shows that you can bury yourself in the country and still somehow acquire a vocabulary. No doubt one picks up things from the neighbours -- the vicar, the local doctor, the man who brings the milk, and so on.
Wodehouse P. G.
Breakfast had been prepared by the kitchen maid, an indifferent performer who had used the scorched earth policy on the bacon again.
P. G. Wodehouse
It was one of those cold, clammy, accusing sort of eyes--the kind that makes you reach up to see if your tie is straight: and he looked at me as I were some sort of unnecessary product which Cuthbert the Cat had brought in after a ramble among the local ash-cans.




P. G. Wodehouse quotes
‘Do you know,’ said a thoughtful Bean, ‘I’ll bet that if all the girls Freddie Widgeon has loved were placed end to end—not that I suppose one could do it—they would reach half-way down Piccadilly.’
‘Further than that,’ said the Egg. ‘Some of them were pretty tall.’
P. G. Wodehouse
If Eggy wanted to get spliced, let him, was the way I looked at it. Marriage might improve him. It was difficult to think of anything that wouldn’t.
Wodehouse quotes
Scarcely had I entered the sitting-room when I found ... what appeared at first sight to be the Devil, A closer scrutiny informed me that it was Gussie Fink-Nottle, dressed as Mephistopheles.
Wodehouse P. G.
This done, he felt a little—not much, but a little—better. Before, he would have gladly murdered Beach and James and danced on their graves. Now, he would have been satisfied with straight murder.
Wodehouse P. G. quotes
It was a cold, disapproving gaze, such as a fastidious luncher who was not fond of caterpillars might have directed at one which he had discovered in his portion of salad...
P. G. Wodehouse
...as I felt my way along the wall I collided with what turned out to be a grandfather clock, for the existence of which I had not budgeted, and it toppled over with a sound like the delivery of several tons of coal through the roof of a conservatory. Glass crashed, pulleys and things parted from their moorings, and as I stood trying to separate my heart from the front teeth in which it had become entangled, the lights flashed on and I beheld Sir Watkyn Bassett.
P. G. Wodehouse quotes
Bingo swayed like a jelly in a high wind.
P. G. Wodehouse
Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love.
Wodehouse P. G.
Whenever there is a job to be taken on of a kind calculated to make Humanity shudder, the cry goes up, ‘Let Wooster do it.’


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