Jose Mourinho
Portuguese football manager.
"The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem."
"When I saw Rijkaard entering the referee's dressing room I couldn't believe it. When Drogba was sent off I didn't get surprised."
"Look at my haircut. I am ready for the war."
"If I wanted to have an easy job I would have stayed at Porto. Beautiful blue chair, the UEFA Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me."
"If I am hated at Barcelona, it is their problem but not mine. Fear is not a word in my football dictionary."
"I told Mr Ferguson that United didn't deserve to leave Stamford Bridge with nothing." [After beating them 1-0]
"A player from Man City showed half of his ass for two seconds and it was a big nightmare. But this is a real nightmare."[Comparing Petr Cech's nasty injury with Joey Barton's bottom-baring antics.]
"For me, pressure is bird flu. I'm feeling a lot of pressure with the problem in Scotland. It's not fun and I'm more scared of it than football."
"The world is so competitive, aggressive, consumive, selfish and during the time we spend here we must be all but that."
"Sometimes you see beautiful people with no brains. Sometimes you have ugly people who are intelligent, like scientists. Our pitch is a bit like that. From the top it's a disgrace but the ball rolls at normal speed."
"He must really think I'm a great guy. He must think that, because otherwise He would not have given me so much. I have a great family. I work in a place where I've always dreamt of working. He has helped me out so much that He must have a very high opinion of me." [When asked by the Spanish radio network Cope what he believed God thought about him.]
"Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100% sure that the melon is good."
"I would say if all the names you wrote in the last few days are correct we would have a 50-player squad and I hate to work with big squads."
"If FC Porto was a club of a country with another economical power, it could have done a striking season in Europe. That team was the best I have ever coached. It was destroyed due to economical factors."
"It will be the strongest Champions League ever. Every shark will be there."
"My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away."[After his Yorkshire Terrier had issues with customs.]
"Look, I'm a coach, I'm not Harry Potter. He is magical, but in reality there is no magic. Magic is fiction and football is real."
“As for Lo Monaco I do not know who he is. With the name Monaco I have heard of Bayern Monaco (Munich) and the Monaco GP, the Tibetan Monaco (Monk), and the Principality of Monaco. I have never heard of any others.” [after Catania president Pietro Lo Monaco claimed he wanted to 'smack [Mourinho] in the mouth' following Inter's November 2008 Serie A win in Sicily.]
"It's like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket because the supermarket is closed. But the blanket is made of cashmere!" [During a Chelsea injury crisis]."
"I confess that it isn't easy to enter on football with the name of someone who is already in football. I feel that with my own son. He already lives under the pressure of being a son of mine. For that I admire Rui Águas and Maldini, who managed to live with the weight of that pressure, and already did a lot."