John Wilmot (1647 – 1680)
English nobleman, a friend of King Charles II of England, and the writer of much satirical and bawdy poetry.
Dead we become the lumber of the world.
The Elephant is never won with Anger,
Nor must that man, who would reclaim a Lion,
Take him by the teeth.
Thus, Statesman-like, I’ll saucily impose,
And, safe from Danger, valiantly advise;
Sheltered in Impotence, urge you to Blows,
And, being good for nothing else, be Wise.
It is a good world to live in,
To lend, or to spend, or to give in;
But to beg or to borrow, or to get a man's own,
It is the very worst world that ever was known.
When my young master's worship comes to town,
From pedagogue and mother just fit free,
The heir and hopes of a great famiiy;
Who with strong beer and beef the country rules,
And ever since the Conquest have been fools;
And now, with careful prospect to maintain
This character, lest crossing of the strain
Should mend the booby breed, his friends provide
A cousin of his own to be his bride…
Lest, once more wandering from that heaven,
I fall on some base heart unblest,
Faithless to thee, false, unforgiven,
And lose my everlasting rest.
The clog of all pleasure, the luggage of life,
Is the best can be said for a very good wife.
The world appears like a great family,
Whose lord, oppressed with pride and poverty,
(That to the few great bounty he may show)
Is fain to starve the numerous train below.
For pointed satire I would Buckhurst choose,
The best good man with the worst-natured muse.
If you have a grateful heart (which is a miracle amongst you statesmen), show it by directing the bearer to the best wine in town, and pray let not this highest point of sacred friendship be performed slightly, but go about it with all due deliberation and care, as holy priests to sacrifice, or as discreet thieves to the wary performance of burglary and shop-lifting. Let your well-discerning palate (the best judge about you) travel from cellar to cellar and then from piece to piece till it has lighted on wine fit for its noble choice and my approbation.