Cassandra Clare
Cassandra Clare is the pseudonym of the author of the young adult trilogy The Mortal Instruments.
"I always thought that it was 'Good things come to those who do the wave,'" said Simon. "No wonder I've been so confused all my life."
"Nearly unlimited supernatural power, and all you do is use it to watch reruns. What a waste."
"He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons. Ignore him."
Then again, it was Jace. He'd pick a fight with a Mack truck if the urge took him.
"I didn't," said Jace. "At least, I didn't finish it. It's Magnus Bane." He grinned at Alec mockingly. "Rhymes with 'overcareful pain in the ass.'"
"It's a girl," Jace said , recovering his composure. "Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one."
Jace Wayland: "Because, to her you're Jocelyn's daughter. But I'll always be Valentine's son."
"I guess it's true what they say. There are no straight men in the trenches."
"That's atheists, jackass. There are no atheists in the trenches."
"If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have asked."
"What? I thought you came down right on the side of go directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars. 'The Law is the Law, Isabelle.' What was all that you were spouting?"
"First the candy and flowers, then the apology letters, then the ravenous demon hordes. In that order."
That sounds terrific. Just you, your comatose wife, your shell-shocked son, and you daughter who hates your guts. Not to mention that your two kids may be in love with each other. Yeah, that sounds like a perfect family reunion.
"Sure. And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour."
"When the self-congratulatory part of the evening is over, maybe we could get back to saving my best friend from being exsanguinated to death?"
"That does it, I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year."
"Why?"
"So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means."
"Oh, for goodness' sake, is he really waking us up at this ungodly hour just to prove his love to you or something?"
"Looks like a bite mark. What have you been doing all day, anyway?"
"Nothing. I went walking in the park. Tried to clear my head."
"And ran into a vampire?"
"What? No! I fell."
"On your neck?"
"Well you'll have to wait till tomorrow. I'm out of commission." He pointed at himself. "Look. Jammies."
"Maybe you should have thought about that before you kissed me," he said.
"I kissed you?"
"Don't worry, it wasn't that memorable for me, either."
"You don't know my father. He'll laugh in your face and offer you some money to mail my body back to Idris."
"Don't be absurd-"
"You're right. Coming to think of it, he'll probably make you pay for the shipping charges yourself."