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[When asked if people think he and Julian Barratt are a couple] A lot of people want to think that. We found some gay porn, didn't we, Julian? [...] It was me sucking Julian's cock. Or was it him sucking mine? Anyway, it was really disturbing. So we may turn it into an episode in series three.

 

Noel Fielding

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When the people of Antioch taunted the emperor toward the end of his life with attacks on his beard, he replied in a work full of sarcasm and ironic self-disparagement. The Misopogon (Beard-Hater) … as Julian warmed to his bitter irony, he declared that he seldom cut his hair or nails, "and if you would like to learn anything that is usually a secret, my shaggy chest is covered with hair, like the breasts of lions who are kings among beasts". Julian's unsettling laughter can be heard throughout the Misopogon. … He was a man of ostentatious simplicity. Julian boasted of his ascetism in response to the Antiochenes' charges of boorish and uncivilized behavior: "Sleepless nights on straw and a diet that is anything but filling make my character austere and an enemy to a luxurious city." As a philosopher transformed in Gaul into a soldier, Julian repudiated luxury and disciplined himself beyond the capabilities of most men. … The abstinence of Julian was universally acknowledged by friend and foe alike, and it is an important feature of the austerity of Julian's life.

 

Julian (Emperor)

 

Yeah, a lot of people think that [two men kissing is attractive.] My girlfriend is obsessed with it! When she gets drunk, she often tries to make me snog Julian [Barratt]. Or whoever is around.

 

Noel Fielding

 

Julian is without question one of antiquity's most enigmatic and compelling figures. He attempted the impossible by restoring for a moment the pagan gods to their former primacy, a feat which horrified the Christians and probably perplexed rather than inspired the majority of surviving pagans.
Julian was a man of action and at the same time a man whose spiritual life brought him close to many of the most extreme wonder-workers of his age. … Anyone who believes that he can write an authoritative biography of Julian, with everything tidily in place from beginning to end, is deluding himself. The historian can only grope toward the facts about the man and his reign, but the groping is its own reward.

 

Julian (Emperor)

 

“But you're a Philosopher!” Julian exclaimed at one point. “This is Philosophy, not Religion, since you rule out supernatural beings—you know that as well as I do!”
“I suppose it is Philosophy, looked at from one angle,” Stepney conceded. “But there’s no money in Philosophy, Julian. Religion is far more lucrative as a career.”

 

Robert Charles Wilson

 

Jonathan Ross: Good to see you - how's it hanging?
Julian Clary: Oh, very well thank you. Very nice of you to recreate Hampstead Heath for me here [laughter]. As a matter of fact, I've just been visting Norman Lamont ... [prolonged laughter]
Ross: Let me ask you Julian ...
Clary: Talk about a red box.

 

Norman Lamont