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At dinner time, Nasreddin finds no meat on the table. He asks his wife, "What happened to the meat?"
His wife replies, "The cat ate it."
Nasreddin breezes into the kitchen, puts the cat on the scales, and discovers the cat to be weighing three pounds. Nasreddin quizzically questions the result, "If the meat I brought home weighed three pounds, then, where is the cat? And, if this happens to be the cat, then what happened to the meat?"
--
Hasan Bülent Paksoy, Alpamysh: Central Asian Identity Under Russian Rule (1979, 1989), ISBN 0962137901, p. 5–6

 

Nasreddin

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One of the neighbors found Nasreddin scattering crumbs all around his house.
"Why are you doing that?" he asked.
"I'm keeping the tigers away," replied Nasreddin.
"But there aren't any tigers around here," said the neighbor.
"That's right," said Nasreddin. "You see how well it works?"

 

Nasreddin

 

"Well, Nasreddin. I know you lose your only donkey. Life may be difficult without it. But, don't be too sad brother," the man tried to cheer him up.
"Do I look sad?"
"Yes, you look very sad. You looked much sadder than you did when your wife died." [...]
"At that time you all tried to cheer me up by saying 'Don't be too sad, my brother Nasreddin. We'll get you a new wife.' But now you see, nobody offers me a donkey to replace my lost one."

 

Nasreddin

 

"I can't help it," I said. "My soul knows my meat is doing bad things, and is embarrassed. But my meat just keeps right on doing bad, dumb things."
"You and your what?" he said.
"My soul and my meat," I said.
"They're separate?" he said.
"I sure hope they are," I said. I laughed. "I would hate to be responsible for what my meat does."

 

Kurt Vonnegut

 

[Nasreddin had to don his finest clothes in order to be admitted to a fancy dinner party.]
He reached over, took a piece of meat and stuffed it in his shirt. He poked the next piece into his cummerbund. Then he jammed one into each pocket of his pants. All eyes were on Nasreddin as he gathered the long sleeves of his cloak and soaked them in the bowl of hot gravy.

 

Nasreddin

 

People are starving all over the world, what do you mean, "red meat will kill you"? Don't eat no red meat? No, don't eat no green meat. If you lucky enough to get your hands on a steak, bite the shit out of it!

 

Chris Rock