If you have dentures, don't use artificial sweetener, cause you'll get a fake cavity.
Mitch Hedberg
» Mitch Hedberg - all quotes »
Cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to shortchange the Muse. It cannot be done. You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.
William S. Burroughs
Women can fake orgasms, men can fake the whole relationships.
Anonymous
I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It’s the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate.
Graham Greene
Friendship! mysterious cement of the soul!
Sweetener of life! and solder of society!Robert Blair
[When asked about fake vs. real breasts] I have [felt fake ones.] Recently. Not on purpose, though. I don't mind either way, but I'm not into huge breasts. I prefer them petite.
Noel Fielding
Hedberg, Mitch
Hedges, Chris
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