Yquotes.com

 

I don't have any children, but if I had a baby, I would have to name it so I'd buy a baby naming book. Or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.

 

Mitch Hedberg

» Mitch Hedberg - all quotes »

Similar quotes

 

My wife wants a dog. She already has a baby. The baby’s almost two. My wife says that the baby wants the dog.
My wife has been wanting a dog for a long time. I have had to be the one to tell her that she couldn’t have one. But now the baby wants a dog, my wife says. This may be true. The baby is very close to my wife. They go around together all the time, clutching each other tightly. I ask the baby, who is a girl, “Whose girl are you? Are you Daddy’s girl?” The baby says, “Momma,” and she doesn’t just say it once, she says it repeatedly, “Momma momma momma.” I don’t see why I should buy a hundred-dollar dog for that damn baby.

 

Donald Barthelme

 

A baby is God's opinion that life should go on. A book that does nothing to you is dead. A baby, whether it does anything to you, represents life. If a bad fire should break out in this house and I had my choice of saving the library or the babies, I would save what is alive. Never will a time come when the most marvelous recent invention is as marvelous as a newborn baby. The finest of our precision watches, the most super-colossal of our supercargo plants, don't compare with a newborn baby in the number and ingenuity of coils and springs, in the flow and change of chemical solutions, in timing devices and interrelated parts that are irreplaceable. A baby is very modern. Yet it is also the oldest of the ancients. A baby doesn't know he is a hoary and venerable antique — but he is. Before man learned how to make an alphabet, how to make a wheel, how to make a fire, he knew how to make a baby — with the great help of woman, and his God and Maker.

 

Carl Sandburg

 

Well, long tall Sally, she's built for speed,
She's got everything that uncle John need.
Oh baby, yes baby, woo baby, havin' me some fun tonight.

 

Little Richard

 

Adam Curry: The right to your own body, as a woman, do you not have the right to put in or take out of that body what you want?
Ron Paul: You have responsibilities, with the exception of rape, of the consequences of having intercourse. But if you carry that argument to its logical conclusion, I also think you have your right to your property, your home is your castle, I don't want any cameras, nothing in there. But some parents might kill their children, we don't put cameras and we don't take away rights of parents because one out of 14 million might kill their child. But, if we know there's some parents in their home just murdering their children, all of the sudden this becomes very important. So the sanctity of the home does not permit the killing of the children. [...] I can get paid a lot of money to do the abortion right before birth, but if I do it one minute after birth I go to prison for murder. And one time there was a case where the abortionist did the abortion, but the baby was born alive, so he drowned the baby. I think he was convicted of a crime, but if he could have only killed the baby sooner... That's why this partial birth abortion developed, because you didn't ever want the baby to be born alive.

 

Ron Paul

 

Ooh, baby let's get down tonight
Baby I'm hot just like an oven
I need some lovin'
And baby, I can't hold it much longer
It's getting stronger and stronger
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing.
Sexual Healing, baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind.
Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me.

 

Marvin Gaye