Don’t milk the cow too hard. She will kick you.
--
City Aphorisms, Eleventh Selection (1993)Mason Cooley
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. But they couldn't sell soy juice, so they called it soy milk. Because anytime you say soy juice, you actually... start to gag. And they put Soy Milk in with my Moo-Cow f**k milk, and it doesn't belong there, because we all know there's no such thing as Soy milk 'cause there's no soy titty, is there?
Lewis Black
"The music I like to play is Rock 'N Roll. I like to rock like a wild animal. I like to rock it well enough to whip a yak's ass. I love to rock it good on a horse's ass. I like to rock it real hard. I love to rock it all the way to Russia. I like to kick out the Jazz and kick it out all the way."
Wesley Willis
"I said I could to get the part. It made me go slightly mad, because my brain would be spinning all night. But after my big fight scene, where it was just kick, kick, kick, turn, in a freezing graveyard at 5am, I remember coming home on fire, because my brain hadn't kicked in once. Which was really, really a relief.
Sienna Guillory
I once saw some magician bloke turn a carton of orange juice into orange juice, beer, milk, coke and ginger ale. That makes him five times better than Jesus or something. (Why it Would Kick Arse to be Jesus)
Ben Croshaw
Cooley, Mason
Coolidge, Calvin
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