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Sophia Loren: "She was charming and very respectful to me, but you know, she looked very lonely."

 

Madonna

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"I'm no good, Teddy. Let's run away!"
"You're a very good boy. Your Mummy loves you."
Slowly, he shook his head. "If she loved me, then why can't I talk to her?"
"You're being silly, David. Mummy's lonely. That's why she had you."
"She's got Daddy. I've got nobody 'cept you, and I'm lonely."

 

Brian Aldiss

 

And God stepped out on space,
And He looked around and said,
"I'm lonely—
I'll make me a world."

 

James Weldon Johnson

 

Yesterday, I was sitting on a beanbag chair naked, eating Cheetos, flippin' through the television and I saw Robert Tilton. He's a televangelist, out of Dallas, and he was staring at me. He looked at me and said, "Are you lonely?" [shrugs] Yeah. "Have you spent half your life in bars, pursuing sins of the flesh?" [Takes a sip of his drink] Man, this guy's good! "Are you sitting in a beanbag chair, naked, eating Cheetos?" [shocked look] YES, SIR! "Do you have the urge to get up and send me a thousand dollars?" Close! I thought he was talking about me there for a second! Apparently, I'm not the only cat on the block that digs Cheetos.

 

Ron White

 

The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because I have been saying, for the longest time, that president Bush must set a timetable for removing his head from his ass...and, by god, today they went in and looked for it. They actually went in and looked for it and... They didn't find it. So now we don't know where it is, but at least for once in my life, I get to see the words "Bush", "operation", and "success" in the same sentence.

 

Bill Maher