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"I've only had one dream in my life with kids in it that didn't involve me gnawing my feet off, and it had to do with kids doing my laundry."
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9 things I learned about the world according to anonymous stock photo models.

 

Maddox

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"I think I always knew that I would have kids but I didn’t… understand… the… whooooo [brims with tears once again]. That I could love my kids the way that I love ‘em. I didn’t know there was… room for that. You love your wife, your family, but it’s different with your kids. I didn’t know I could be so selfless. I would do anything for my kids. Anything. I guess everybody goes through it."

 

Brandon Flowers

 

I didn't just start doing this today. Not like some people that have a movie coming out, so they go visit kids in the hospital. You don't need that phony crap. All of these celebrities, they turn my stomach with their funny stuff. I've been going in the ghettos without the press, without bodyguards, talking to kids. "Get to reading, stay in school. You don't have to carry a gun." I know about peer pressure and all that, but I say, "Hey, they called me a sissy because I wouldn't join a gang. Who was calling me a sissy? Does it make me a sissy because somebody called me a sissy?" [...] I'm going to fight if you touch me or hurt me or do harm to my family. But if you call me a bad name, or whatnot, I'm too smart for that. That's the message the kids need to hear coming from me. I tell them, "If I fought every time somebody called me a name, I would never get out of jail. But I'm disciplined. I'm smarter than that." So I tell them, like my mother said, "Consider the source." When you see who called you the name, then you understand why they're doing it. Then you don't have to stoop that low.

 

Mr. T

 

Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8 degrees. My kids’ kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.

 

Dennis Miller

 

Tupac is taking the message to black kids and a lot of white kids, going "This shit's happening on the streets." Well, I'm from a different part of the black community. Why is Orleans Woods in Charleston, South Carolina, less "valid" than Compton?

 

Darius Rucker