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"I do not want to miss a good chance of getting us a slice of this magnificent African cake."
--
Thomas Pakenham, The Scramble for Africa: White Man's Conquest of the Dark Continent From 1876 to 1912, New York: Avon Books, 1992, 22.

 

Leopold II of Belgium

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On Saturday, he ate through one piece of chocolate cake, one ice-cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake, and one slice of watermelon. That night he had a stomach ache.

 

Eric Carle

 

I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the f**ker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the f**ker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. I would like to exchange this for the "keep it!"

 

Mitch Hedberg

 

“In football you need to have everything in your cake mix to make the cake taste right. One little bit of ingredient that Tony uses in his cake gets talked about all the time is Rory’s throw. Call that cinnamon and he’s got a cinnamon flavoured cake. It’s not fair and it’s not right and it’s only a small part of what he does."

 

Ian Holloway

 

Chocolate bread! That's how they start the day. It's only going to escalate from there. By lunchtime you're f**king everybody you know. I was in Paris recently—they are very good at pleasure. I was walking by a bakery—a boulangerie, which is fun to go into and to say, even—and I went in, a childish desire to get a cake—"Give me one of those chocolate guys," I said—and I was talking to someone on the street, took a bite... I had to tell them to go away! This thing! I wanted to book a room with it! "Where are you from, what kind of music are you into? Come on!" Proper, serious pleasure. Because they know they're gonna die. Nobody goes to church. You think, we're gonna die, make a f**king nice cake.

 

Dylan Moran

 

"Oh, what a sweet little doggie!" Mrs Baker cried out. "Is ooh hungwy, then?" She gave Waif the rest of the cake she was eating. Waif took it politely, ate it in one gulp and continued to beg. Mrs Baker gave her a whole cake from the plate. This caused Waif to beg more soulfully than ever.
"I'm disgusted," Charmain told Waif.

 

Diana Wynne Jones