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Yeah, I have giant breasts — in a bra. It's so disconcerting — there are so many women now with fake breasts that that's the standard; that's what you're supposed to look like. But real boobs don't look like that, and a lot of working out won't make them look like that.

 

Katherine Heigl

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[When asked about fake vs. real breasts] I have [felt fake ones.] Recently. Not on purpose, though. I don't mind either way, but I'm not into huge breasts. I prefer them petite.

 

Noel Fielding

 

"She has great breasts," the Colonel said without looking up from the whale.
"DO NOT OBJECTIFY WOMEN'S BODIES!" Alaska shouted.
Now he looked up. "Sorry. Perky breasts."
"That's not any better!"

 

John Green

 

So, I thought, it's not working. So I threw my breasts out of the window of my Lamborghini, in my mind … no, I threw the breasts out of the window of my Ford Fiesta, in my mind. Actually, I threw them out over the handlebars of my bicycle [mouthing the words] in my mind. And they hit a small child, who ran, "Mum, mum, mum … I've been attacked by … jellyfish!"

 

Eddie Izzard

 

I have heard men say that they don't mind the idea of breast implants in a woman because, after all, big breasts are big breasts. On the other hand, I have never met a woman who would rather be with a man in a toupee than a bald man.

 

Merrill Markoe

 

Boobs are the center of power. Boobs can make a 6-month old baby and a 65 year old man both act the same way. And I'm a big fan. Oh, man, I love 'em! And I ain't picky neither. I hate guys that say "I don't like little boobs." I don't care! Big boobs, little boobs, saggy boobs, perky boobs...You could have boobs that look like nanners, I don't give a damn! They're the perfect toy! You squish them, mush them, POOF! They come right back out! You can't even break 'em! Oh god, they're amazing. Boobs can make a long trip seem short, make a bad day seem great. [Points to member of the audience] Bud, let's say you had a bad day at work. Boss been chewing you out all day long. That girl sitting next to you shows you her boobs, you're like, "This day was GREAT!"

 

Bill Engvall