"And I'm a big tipper, I don't even be trippin'. This my first real Rolex, it don't even be tickin'. This my first pair of earings I can can wear in the shower, without 'em clouding up in a half an hour!"
--
"My Baby", Damita Jo, 2004Kanye West
"The clock's tickin' I just count the hours. Stop trippin' I'm trippin off the power."
Kanye West
"The shower is my time to open up my operatic chops, because of the enormous echo. You sound five times as big in the shower, so I break into some "Nessun Dorma" [from Puccini's Turandot] or Pearl Jam. You've got to go big when you're in the shower. There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva."
Josh Groban
I'd like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don't know the answer. Does anyone know why a pair of sunglasses cost more than a big screen television? Does anybody know? I went to the Sunglass Hut to buy a new pair of sunglasses after I lost my pair. And I see a pair that I like. I don't love them, I like them. $309. So I asked the salesman, very politely, I said, "How do you sleep at night, you f**kin' prick?" And I told him--this is true--that I bought a 25" color television at Wal-Mart for $218. And he says, "Well, apparently, sir, you don't get it." "...I'm listenin'." "These sunglasses block 100% of all UV rays." "No, apparently you don't get it; this thing decodes a digital signal it picks up from outer-f**king-space!" Then I found out the glasses got basic cable and I felt like a dickhead...
Ron White
Girls love their showers, they spend like twelve hours in there. I know why too, I read in Cosmo. It said that, "Eighty three percent of all women masturbate in the shower." That's wonderful. I can't masturbate in the shower cause my legs give out and then I rip down the shower curtain. And then my Mom gets mad. And I have to go to bed without dinner. I masturbated in the car once. That's a cry for help. I wouldn't do it again, though, 'cause the cab driver got really pissed off. I was like, "I'm sorry sir, all I saw was the non-smoking sign."
Mitch Fatel
Some people think I always wear the hat, but that's not true. Sometimes I don't wear the hat. It makes me laugh that some people think I always wear the hat, because obviously I don't wear the hat all the time. What about when I sleep or take a shower? I don't wear the hat then. Also, I don't wear the hat to go to Millets.
Slash (musician)
West, Kanye
West, Keith
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