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John Updike

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The smell of good advice always makes Rabbit want to run the other way.

 
John Updike

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There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. You see, advice and lovelorn don't go together. Because advice makes love sound like some sort of cognitive activity, but we know that it isn't. We all know that it's some sort of horrible chemical reaction over which we have absolutely no control. And that's why advice doesn't work.

 
Fran Lebowitz
 

There was this boy, Davie, and he was going to have a rabbit. His grandfather had promised it. A real, live rabbit. A little black rabbit, if possible. In a week, if possible. And this was in the Netherlands.

 
Meindert DeJong
 

A bear and a rabbit were taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "No." So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

 
Eddie Murphy
 

People ask what gives me the authority to give advice? I say, First of all, I don't give advice. Dr Phil gives advice. Mr T helps people. I motivate them, I inspire them, I give them hope, and I plant the seed so they can feel good about themselves.

 
Mr. T
 

Q: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
JM: Never get into a situation you can’t get out of. I really have stuck to it, because it’s good advice for all walks of live.

 
Johnny Marr
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