"I think right about now I should answer some questions that are probably on your mind. You're probably thinking to yourself, 'Janeane, why are you not wearing the half-shirt that you're usually so fond of wearing? Because when we see you we like to see the half shirt.' You know I'm very fond of that and I'm fond of the low-slung jean and the thong, as you know. In fact when I go into a bar and I see ladies wearing the low-slung jeans and the half-shirts, I go up to them and say, 'On behalf of everyone here, thank you. Thank you!' 'Hey, pretty lady, are you wearing a thong? What a creative way to create favor with the opposite sex. That is so exciting. Let me understand the dynamic of the thong: so there's just a slender thread that just resides in your nether region for the better part of the day - just a string that rides in your anatomical hinterlands...it just hangs in there all day at work and then all day at the bar, so I can see how the gentlemen find that so exciting.'...Don't 'ooh' me, I'm not the one with the thong!"
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standup performance accessible through .WAV files available on the InternetJaneane Garofalo
» Janeane Garofalo - all quotes »
to a defendant's witness wearing a T-shirt reading "BEER EQUALS FUN": Mr. Gordon, that's a ridiculous shirt that you chose to wear to court today. ... I don't know what kind of statement you thought you were making, but if you wanted to leave the impression on this piece of tape that you're going to have on posterity for your children that you are an intelligent, thinking person, that shirt you're wearing belies that fact.
Judith Sheindlin
Alessandro Del Piero: "Above all on the eve of a match like this one, when on the other side, wearing a captain band on his arm, there’s a player like Francesco Totti. If we put together our goals scored, it's over 500. If we sum up the years of career, wearing the same shirt – it comes up to 35. We won the World Cup together and those memories unite us forever" "We have a great relationship with plenty of admiration on both sides even if we don't call each other up. Francesco is great."
Francesco Totti
If I were Osama, and the United States government were actually looking for me, I'd be clean-shaven by now, crewcutted, wearing jeans and a ZZ Top T-shirt, and living in a nice little house in Lincoln, Nebraska.
L. Neil Smith
Mom, I have something to tell you. My thong, is so far up my crack right now.
Kelly Osbourne
Oh God — I look back now, and it seems so gross. At just 14 years old, I had to wear a thong bikini. And then they used that scene in the trailer, so my entire school saw it! There are still men who come up to me today and say, "You were really hot in that film!" I was 14, for God's sake!
Katherine Heigl
Garofalo, Janeane
Garr, Teri
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