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Life is change, to cease to change is to cease to live; yet if you may shed a tear beside the death-bed of an old friend, let not your heart be silent on the dissolving of a faith.
--
Letter IV

 

James Anthony Froude

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It takes time for the absent to assume their true shape in our thoughts. After death they take on a firmer outline and then cease to change.

 

Colette

 

We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.

 

Leo Buscaglia

 

One must say Yes to life, and embrace it wherever it is found - and it is found in terrible places. ... For nothing is fixed, forever and forever, it is not fixed; the earth is always shifting, the light is always changing, the sea does not cease to grind down rock. Generations do not cease to be born, and we are responsible to them because we are the only witnesses they have. The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the moment we break faith with one another, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out.

 

James Baldwin

 

Against this, I wanted to look again, (I am always looking again) at love's ability to shatter and heal simultaneously. Loving someone else destroys our ideas of who we are and what we want. Priorities change, friends change, houses change, we change. Part of the strangeness of being human is our need of boundaries, parameters, definitions, explanations, and our need for them to be overturned. For most people, only the positives of love and faith (and a child is both), or the negatives of disaster and disease, achieve this. Death comes too late. The final shattering affects others, but not ourselves. (on Written on the Body)

 

Jeanette Winterson

 

Cease, gentle Maid, cease, cease to grieve,
Thy Goddess does thy Pray'rs receive,
And Providence will Thee relieve.

Those, who on Providence depend,
And patiently its Will attend,
Shall be rewarded in the End,

By Ways and Means least thought upon,
That Mortals may be forc'd to own
Their Help comes from the Gods alone.

 

Jane Barker