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"Now you understand the Oriental passion for tea," said Japhy. "Remember that book I told you about; the first sip is joy, the second is gladness, the third is serenity, the fourth is madness, the fifth is ecstasy."

 

Jack Kerouac

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All male arguments are very early '70s, Soviet-made, uni-directional trundling behemoths that say the same thing again and again and again: "I told you I would be late on Tuesday, I told you I would be late, I said it, I heard my own voice, I did say it... I told yoouuuu." Whereas women seem to have these amazing, slinky stealth bombers designed by Jaguar! With a lovely cream leather interior and infinite torque! That's why they can respond by saying "Yes, maybe, alright, but why is the fridge door open?" "I don't understand, I don't understand..."

 

Dylan Moran

 

She once told me to define my ideal woman:
"You're it," I told her.
She laughed. "Come on!"
"Seriously," I said.
"What would you like me to be that I'm not?"
"Nothing," I said with complete sincerity. "I wouldn't want you different in any way."

 

Sharon Tate

 

One thing I will say is the education was good — even religion classes. I appreciate the knowledge I have — the imagery still appeals to me. But otherwise, it's pretty f**ked up. I remember in the eighth grade, during a parent/teacher conference, a nun came down and spoke to my parents. It's funny because I had great grades, did very well on tests, and got along well with others but she told my parents she was "very concerned". My parents were like "what for?" She told them "I think your son might worship the devil..."

 

Davey Havok

 

Narrated Abu Hurairah: A man came to Allah's Messenger and said, "Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father."

 

Holy Prophet Muhammad

 

I told him, "We're all gay, buddy. It's just to what extent are you gay." He says, "That's bullshit, man, I ain't gay at all!" I said, "Yes, you are and I'll prove it." He says, "Fine, prove it." I said to him, "All right- do you like porn?" He says, "Yeah, I love porn, you know that." I said, "Do you only watch two women together?" He said, "Naw, I watch a man and a woman make love." I said, "OK, do you want the guy to have a tiny, half-flaccid penis?" He said, "Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself."

 

Ron White