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Emo Philips

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I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.

 
Emo Philips

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Well I failed to bring Roger to Flint. As we neared the end of the twentieth century, the rich were richer, the poor, poorer. And people everywhere now had a lot less lint, thanks to the lint rollers made in my hometown. It was truly the dawn of a new era.

 
Michael Moore
 

"I have the most perfect belly button. When I stick my fingers in it, I feel a nerve in the center of my body shoot up my spine."

 
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"I have the most perfect belly button. When I stick my fingers in it, I feel a nerve in the center of my body shoot up my spine."

 
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If the Catholic Church hadn't so consistently and virulently condemned the Jews for killing Jesus, there would have been no Holocaust. There would have been no reason for anyone to think about picking on Jews. And that means today there might be no Jewish state, and no Middle East conflict. That's quite a lot to have on your conscience, isn't it? How fortunate for the Catholic Church that it doesn't possess a conscience, but at least it gives ordinary Catholics an opportunity to feel guilty about something real for a change, if they feel so inclined, and to reflect on the reality that the Jews didn't kill Jesus at all. The Catholic Church killed Jesus, and has spent the last two thousand years dragging his entrails through the dirt. And if he came back tomorrow, he'd be the first to say so. You know it's true. We all do.

 
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He gave himself up to God and pressed the button.

 
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