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With all of our differences, we [members of the audience] all have one thing in common, we’re all gay. Now there are people out there [in audience] going “Do they think we’re gay because we’re here? Do we look gay? I told you this would happen. We’re not going to understand a word of this.” Seriously, though, if you're here you're probably gay. I mean, you have tendencies, you've thought about it. Now there are people [in audience] going “I have thought about it. Does that mean I'm gay? I'm not gay. Is that how they get us?”
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Here and Now

 

Ellen DeGeneres

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I'm really lucky that I've got open-minded people out there who listen and come check out my gig. I wish the people in the audience would realize that they have so much more power than they think they have. They think it's just lights and smoke hypnotizing everybody, but really, the guy on that stage doesn't have the world by the balls or the tail — he's there by the audience's whim, they have the power. They put him there, they can take him out. I wish they'd realize that they have a low esteem, confidence problem about that. They think its all being run by marionette people — but only if they let that happen.

 

Mike Watt

 

I don't like to be my own audience, I find that being my own audience, being in the audience, makes me self-conscious, basically. So I tune in sometimes, with the sound off, to check it out and I back up to it. In the future I will look at it when some time has passed.

 

Madeline Kahn

 

Of all the young singer-songwriters out there, I think Todd Snider is the best.. by that I mean he has found a way to take his feelings and observations and turn them into songs that can get an audience...he won't quit til he gets the audience and he always gets the audience.

 

Todd Snider

 

BB: So, who here has a guinea pig?
Various Audience Members cheer
BB: What kind of guinea pig?
Muffled suggestions from audience members
BB: Nah, you're not serious about it! (Imitates guniea pig owners) "I dunno, some brown thing...". So what breed?
Audience Member: Crested!
BB: (misunderstands) A what? A crusty...a crusty guinea pig? (Imitates owner) I think you should take it to the vet as soon as possible! "Gah, it's crusting over again, it's crusting up Captain!!" (understands) Ah, crested? What you have there is a newt I think, madam! Some bloke in a pub sold you that! (as man in pub) "Yeah, that's a crested guinea pig, they're lovely, them..."

 

Bill Bailey

 

Now, practically all reviewers have academic aspirations. The people from the universities are used to a captive audience, but the literary journalist has to please his audience.

 

V. S Pritchett