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Although I had less than a minute for reflection, I felt, by a kind of instinct, that I must conceal my experiences from my Wife. Not that I apprehended, at the moment, any danger from her divulging my secret, but I knew that to any Woman in Flatland the narrative of my adventures must needs be unintelligible. So I endeavoured to reassure her by some story, invented for the occasion, that I had accidentally fallen through the trap-door of the cellar, and had there lain stunned.
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Chapter 20. How the Sphere Encouraged Me in a Vision

 

Edwin Abbot

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Tom Hardy: "When we had a break Guy asked if I'd like to meet the wife as she was in the car park and he knew I was a fan. So off we trotted. To be honest, I had the shock of my life. There she was in the back of her Range Rover administering a shot of B12 into the arse of Gerald Butler. Believe me. I was completely stunned to be quite honest, stunned - I mean to throw open the door and see that... I knew it would be magnificent to meet her because she's cult - I mean like Elvis - but the last thing I expected to see was her giving Gerard a shot in his bare arse because he wasn't very well. She does it for her dancers, she's trained doing it, so she decided to do it for the actors as well. She was so cool. She just said to Gerard, 'There you go - bosh! That does it.' And while she was doing that she was talking to me about a load of books I should be reading. I was really thrown."

 

Madonna

 

Tom Hardy: "When we had a break Guy asked if I'd like to meet the wife as she was in the car park and he knew I was a fan. So off we trotted. To be honest, I had the shock of my life. There she was in the back of her Range Rover administering a shot of B12 into the arse of Gerald Butler. Believe me. I was completely stunned to be quite honest, stunned - I mean to throw open the door and see that... I knew it would be magnificent to meet her because she's cult - I mean like Elvis - but the last thing I expected to see was her giving Gerard a shot in his bare arse because he wasn't very well. She does it for her dancers, she's trained doing it, so she decided to do it for the actors as well. She was so cool. She just said to Gerard, 'There you go - bosh! That does it.' And while she was doing that she was talking to me about a load of books I should be reading. I was really thrown."

 

Madonna Ciccone

 

I thought of my own wife's tears and her limp submission the night before — the bleak satisfaction I took from her smallness as I used her shamelessly. She's cried out, and remembering the taste of salted tears, I thought, for that instant, that I knew how the devil felt. Sex and tears, like sun and rain, were never meant to share a moment: but for a fallen soul, an act of wrong could, at times, feel very right, and that scared the hell out of me.

 

John Hart

 

When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!"
One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun..

 

Emo Philips

 

Here's a song I made up while I was watching Xena the Warrior Princess with the sound off. It's a fact. I had a secret crush on Xena. It was a secret to me too. I wouldn't admit it. She's pretty f**kin' tough. She has a good yell... she kills the stupid gladiators with the log-trap. Release the log-trap! She releases the log-trap and they all get... crushed. They'd all wanna be with her if they could, but unfortunately they're not on her side. It's a lot better with the sound off. Really, it is. And the song didn't have anything to do with Xena... but... I was about half a bottle through Jameson's... if that makes any sense.

 

Elliott Smith