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Eddie Vedder

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Advice to the kids... Don't drink when you're sick... More advice: don't get sick when you drink.

 
Eddie Vedder

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[After reading an article on Miles for Kids in an inflight journal] What [President of the Airline] is doing is, he's urging everyone to give up their frequent flyer miles for sick kids... But as I was reading this, there were two empty seats next to me. Why can't sick kids sit there? If they're so concerned with sick kids, shouldn't they have like a pen of sick kids next to the gate?

 
David Cross
 

There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. You see, advice and lovelorn don't go together. Because advice makes love sound like some sort of cognitive activity, but we know that it isn't. We all know that it's some sort of horrible chemical reaction over which we have absolutely no control. And that's why advice doesn't work.

 
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Socrates gave a lot of advice, and he was given Hemlock to drink.

 
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I get sick ... not because of drink [but because] I am forced to listen to the ranting of my honourable opponent.

 
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When one longs for a drink, it seems as though one could drink a whole ocean—that is faith; but when one begins to drink, one can only drink altogether two glasses—that is science.

 
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