Here's a little what it was like for me growing up in Atlanta... They had this ill-fated thing called 'Light Up Atlanta'. So, I'm standing in line... I tap the guy in front of me and say, "Uh, excuse me, can you tell me if this is the line for the beer, or the line to get the tickets to get the beer.' [long pause] 'I dunno, faggot.' I don't know, faggot? What? What did I do? Was it because I was sucking his cock at the time?
David Cross
[on Isaiah Washington being fired] What if the person that he called a faggot...was acting like a faggot? You don't have to be gay to act like a faggot. You don't even have to be a man to act like a faggot. Anybody can act like a faggot. Let me give you an example: I love Gwen Stefani. I think No Doubt is one of the best groups in the world; I keep a No Doubt CD in my car and I sing that shit to the end. I'm like "don't speak, I know just what you're sayin', oh, please stop explainin'"...I won't even get out my car 'til the shit's over. I'm like "you know you're good, you know you're real good...la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la, [high pitched] Don't! Don't!" I f**kin' love me some Gwen Stefani! Now, if I'm drivin' my car, and I'm at the light, and you in the car behind me, and the light's red, and I'm just sittin' there blasting some Gwen Stefani and I'm like "ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback!" And you in the car behind me and the light's red--cool. But then the light turns green. And I don't see it, because I'm in Gwen Stefani heaven. And I'm just goin' "Ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback girl! Ain't no hollaback!" Now the light starts f**kin' blinking! It's gettin' ready to turn red again, and I *still* don't see it, and I'm in my car going "This shit is bananas! B-na-na-na-nas! This shit is bananas! B-na-na-na-nas!" Now if you in the car behind me, and that light's gettin' ready to turn red, and I'm going "this shit is bananas! B-na-na-na-nas!" If you in the car behind me, you have the right to go "HEY, FAGGOT! The light's about to change!" Shit, even Elton John would call me a faggot at that moment. It's not the word, it's the context in which the word is bein' said!
Chris Rock
Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."
Robin Williams
And then a funny thing happened to me...except when I think about it, it wasn't very funny at all. There must be a line in all of us, a very clear one, just like the line that divides the light side of a planet from the dark. I think they call that line the terminator. That's a very good word for it. Because at that moment I was freaking out, and at the next I was as cool as a cucumber.
Stephen King
Baseball players have to go in front of a grand jury and say, "Yeah, I did cocaine. Can you blame me? It's a slow goddamn game! Come on Jack! Standing out in left field for seven innings, and there's a long white line going down to home plate! I see the guy putting it out going "Heh heh heh heh!!!!" And that damn organ music too, the whole [does intro to "Charge!"]! Third base coach is always doing this...[wiping nose, fidgeting around]. When he's doing that, I don't know whether to slide or do a line! People sliding into home plate head first, umpire goes, "You're out!" "No, baby, I'm up now! Ha ha ha!"
Robin Williams
Cross, David
Cross, Marcia
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