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Don't take a leak on my shoes and tell me it's raining.

 

Tucker Carlson

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The main point is, did God tell him to make a boat, or did Noah just use his captain common sense? Cause there are a number of us, if we were somewhere where it was raining and raining and raining and raining and raining and raining and raining and raining, and we had a big pile of wood, some of us might put two and two together and go, "I'm gonna make a bloody boat!" Others might go, "I'm gonna make a hairdresser's", "I'm gonna build a monkey emporium.", "I'm gonna build a big pair of wooden shoes, that would fit a giant." ... But he made a boat. Oh, he was quite sensible! And what did he put on the boat? His family. What else? Animals. Which animals? Any he could find. Did he put two of every animal in the world on the boat? No! How can I be so sure? Try it!

 

Eddie Izzard

 

Y'know, every time in America some guy gets caught cheating, every media outlet does the same story: "Why Do Men Cheat?" Oh, take a wild f**king guess, would you? I think you're over-thinking this. They're not looking for fantasy, they're looking for...sex. That's it! They want sex. And not just sex; they want new sex. The way women want new shoes. Right? You have shoes, they're perfectly good shoes, you don't want those shoes, you want new shoes. We want a person, you want a shoe and somehow you're morally superior.

 

Bill Maher

 

Old friends, like old shoes, are comfortable. But old shoes, unlike old friends, tend not to be supportive: it is easier to stumble and sprain an ankle while wearing a pair of old shoes than it is in new shoes, with their less yielding leather.

 

Alexander McCall Smith

 

Shoes. I like shoes a lot. My favorite are these Tory Burch boots that I have on. But my favorite shoes to buy are Converse shoes. I have probably every color of Converse shoes known to man.

 

Miley Cyrus

 

I had to attend this party instantly and I didn't have shoes. So I went and bought a pair of shoes worth 1,200 Euro. I look at those shoes and go 'This is the most expensive bite of my life'.

 

Preity Zinta