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Rita Rudner

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When I was a kid I had two friends, and they were imaginary, and they would only play with each other. [HBO: "Born to be Mild"]

 
Rita Rudner

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Hail the heaven-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of Righteousness!
Light and life to all he brings,
Risen with healing in his wings.
Mild he lays his glory by,
Born that man no more may die,
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give us second birth.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the new born King!"

 
Charles Wesley
 

Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street. I'd be like, "Hey, so I guess I'll see you later," and he's, like, "Whatever, queer". That's a hate crime!

 
Daniel Tosh
 

Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the new-born King;
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!"
Joyful, all ye nations, rise.
Join the triumph of the skies.
With th'angelic hosts proclaim
"Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
Hark! the herald angels sing,
Glory to the new-born King!

 
Charles Wesley
 

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. [HBO: "Born to be Mild"]

 
Rita Rudner
 

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love...I'd stepped in it a few times. [HBO: "Born to be Mild"]

 
Rita Rudner
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