Tom Robbins
American novelist.
Her surname resembled a line from an optometrist's examination chart.
Of course I'm inconsistent! Only logicians and cretins are consistent!
In this room, the salamander was squashed between the pages of the rhyming dictionary, thereby changing poetry forever. Here, Salome walked around with a big red fish held high up over her head. Old Father spanked her with a ballet slipper, sending her to bed without milk or honey. Dance was changed in this room, too.
There's probably no subject with quite so many conflictin' opinions about it as there are about food, and 'tis better to swap bubble gum with a rabid bulldog than challenge a single one o' the varyin' beliefs your average human holds about nutrition.
He looked at her with that kind of painted-on seriousness that comedians shift into when they get their chance to play Hamlet.
Fire is the reuniting of matter with oxygen. If one bears that in mind, every blaze may be seen as a reunion, an occasion of chemical joy.
She lunched on papaya poo poo or mango mu mu or some other fruity foo foo bursting with overripe tropical vowels.
Birth and death were easy. It was life that was hard.
It's a smile a girl could bring home to mother, if she had a mother; a smile a girl could pet like a pony, sip like a lemonade, hum like a popular tune; a smile a girl would feel safe with in a dark alley.
"To pragmatists, the letter Z is nothing more than a phonetically symbolic glyph, a minor sign easily learned, readily assimilated, and occasionally deployed in the course of a literate life. To cynics, Z is just an S with a stick up its butt."
They glared at her the way any intelligent persons ought to glare when what they need is a smoke, a bite, a cup of coffee, a piece of ass, or a good fast-paced story, and all they're getting is philosophy.
"Not naive," Conch Shell had corrected him, "He simply has not been taught to fear the things you fear."
My lunar sign is in Virgo. Every month when the moon is full, I'm driven to balance my checkbook and straighten up my apartment. I can't help myself. Instead of a werewolf I turn into an accountant.
We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
They were old enough to know better. Some of them were old enough to remember when old Macdonald had a farm.
Of the seven deadly sins, lust is definitely the pick of the litter.
Hawaii made the mouth of her soul water.
"The only meat in the world sweeter, hotter, and pinker than Amanda's twat is Carolina barbecue."
To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
Something has got to hold it together. I'm saying my prayers to Elmer, the Greek god of glue.