Saturday, June 24, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Russell Brand


English stand-up comedian, radio DJ, television presenter, newspaper columnist, and sometime actor.
Russell Brand
I'm waiting for something worth waiting for.
Brand quotes
Spiral's views are so enchanting that when I heard them, I cleared off to Australia, strolled up Ayres Rock to the meditating Aborigines, pulled down my trousers and pants, polished my dinkle 'til it was as stiff as a pipe, prised its end open and shouted, "Lads, who wants a blow of my didgeridoo?!" They said they faced this ignorance from the white man on an almost daily basis.
Brand
I'll riverdance while that's happening, 'cause it seems to be what I naturally do anyway.




Brand Russell quotes
I don't like the idea of fruit being all turned on because of cream being poured on it. How then can you eat that fruit?
Brand Russell
That's right middle America, I loves Jemus!
Russell Brand quotes
Is it Paul Mccartney? Is it Jimmy Page? No, it's Noel Gallagher, they look the same age!
Russell Brand
This is Hollywood, mate. People bring chihuahuas round!
Brand Russell quotes
Hmm, wa'er! If, right, your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?
Brand
Noel Gallagher looks like a mum's mate.
Brand Russell
I've got a migraine.
Russell Brand
I kat you?




Russell Brand quotes
I saw a picture of Prince William, HRH William, in the paper today. He's going bald. I reckon by the end of next year he will be bald and I'm glad about that. Because of his playboy prince status and that, it makes me feel insecure about my own looks.
Russell Brand
It's difficult to believe in yourself because the idea of self is an artificial construction. You are, in fact, part of the glorious oneness of the universe. Everything beautiful in the world is within you. No-one really feels self-confident deep down because it's an artificial idea. Really, people aren't that worried about what you're doing or what you're saying, so you can drift around the world relatively anonymously. You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from that idea that people are watching you.
Brand quotes
In an infinite universe; eternal time, why just do what people tell you? 'ave a laugh; do what you want.
Brand Russell
When my dad left, you know, I'd give my mum hell sometimes, but really she's the one that stayed, isn't she? Poor cow, she didn't need that kind of aggravation.
Brand Russell quotes
Should we stick with the Goth Detectives from when we won last year? Where's our trophy?
Russell Brand
It's not really over. There's a little part of my brain that is: 'Russell, where are the opiates?' - 'I'm afraid we can't have any more opiates..' 'Why?' - 'You nearly killed me, didn't you?' 'Oh, that was just a joke!'
Russell Brand quotes
Let's look beyond the divisions of football teams and look at the unifying force within our souls... SEX!
Russell Brand
If that's a euphemism - an egg and spoon race, - I'm probably gold medal class.
Brand Russell
It's like Kilroy only talking about Big Brother and there's no racism allowed.


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