Sunday, December 17, 2017 Text is available under the CC BY-SA 3.0 licence.

Kevin Smith


American writer, film director and producer.
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Kevin Smith
In Hollywood, you just kind of fail upwards.
Smith quotes
Guy from audience: Your wife is your beard!
Kevin: My wife is my beard isn't she?... Oh, sir, who was it? It was you? That was your move. 'Cause in your head you're going "I'm gonna yell out your wife is your beard and they'll laugh like they laughed at the rock guy!" And you yelled it out, you got it out there, you had the guts to do it and shit, and then I even echoed it for you just in case the cheap seats didn't hear it, and there was fucking crickets, sir.
Smith
Truth? The latter. But the nice part: the money spends either way.




Smith Kevin quotes
NJ is saying "We love dirty oral on the Down Low, but no going steady."
Smith Kevin
There are no girls like Jen, sir...
Kevin Smith quotes
Sir, I just think that's it's fucking brilliant that you somehow managed to tie Chuck Norris, Chewbacca the Wookie, and Jesus Christ together.
Kevin Smith
Americans tend to celebrate even the most mediocre or basic accomplishments... It's like weddings to me. Why is that a big deal?... Why do you have to have a big shindig where you're, like, "Look, we're doing it" and everybody applauds and throws shit in your face. - SModcast 1: Fisting Flipper
Smith Kevin quotes
What's your name, new best friend?
Smith
What happened to Riggs?
Smith Kevin
Don't get me wrong, I love Schindler's List, but it's not like "Hey, man, let's get loaded and watch Schindler's List." - SModcast 4: Can I get a (Masturbatory) Witness
Kevin Smith
"[as Tim Burton] Anyone who knows me will tell you that I would never read a comic book." Which, to me, explains fucking Batman.




Kevin Smith quotes
A science fiction movie? I don't know. I think I have made one already... Chasing Amy. Because you go ask any lesbian, that'll never happen. Even if, and probably especially because, the dude is Ben fucking Affleck.
Kevin Smith
There would always be a bunch of fucking grousers and nay-sayers being like "that was uncalled for."
Smith quotes
"Look at my dick."
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